I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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