remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
