I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
