Are we in a gay sports bar?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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