Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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