her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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