you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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