they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
