Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
