man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
