So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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