Its about making memories worth repressing
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
