People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
