i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
