I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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