help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Quick, to the slutcave!
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
