the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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