I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Every concussion has its silver lining
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
