did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
