So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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