why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
