Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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