Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
