I just saw a hot homeless man
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
