we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
