discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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