dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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