Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
