I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
