i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
