I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
