Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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