Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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