Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
