pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
