i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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