it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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