As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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