Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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