Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
