why didn't you poke me back
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
