Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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