I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
