Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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