You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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