cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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