Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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