I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
