I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
