are you so shy because you have an std?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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